Black Rose * Crimson Reminisce

lost days...? XD

2008-12-10T23:53:00.004+08:00

well hello to you... i know i havent been here in a while... was kinda... erm... busy having fun and... sorta... well... lets not get there... so anyway... im here to fill the gap... ^^

ok... where do i start... wait... where did i stop again...??

*goes back to blog and checks*

right... other then the crazy obsession with wine and chocolate... i think... wait a minute... NOW i know where to start!!! XD

lets start with chocolate and wine... shall we...? ^^ <3

-will be continued-

good day end bad

2008-12-05T02:07:00.003+08:00

i had a good day today...

but the fact that my day didn't quite end well is really pissing me off...

1st... my friend got too "concern" bout me drinking... annoyed me a lil...
2nd... when i tried to make it better... all he can say is "k" or "kk"... NOT HELPING!!!
3rd... my laptop is not responding to my cell... i wanna transfer picz from my phone!!
4th... i totally have no freaking idea how the hell to do my piano theory... shitz!
5th... i saw my bf commenting on his friend's profile YESTERDAY... yet he didnt come on msn... i know this dont sound much... but all those 4 things above really made it feel worst... >.<

all i wanna do now is bang my head on the wall (literally) then scream... and cry... WTF

chocolate and wine is LOVE ^^

2008-12-01T22:56:00.011+08:00

fenelon is currently drinking a cup of iced chocolate milk...

Fenelon: mum, this is nice... i put in the chocolate and added a lil hot water... made it thick... then added the milk from the box... *drinks* mm~ taste like chocolate... ^^
Mum: =______=;; that's because it IS chocolate... what do you acpect...? ofcourse chocolate taste like chocolate... what else would it taste like...?
Fenelon: hehe... *drinks*

ok... ya... i know... fenelon is in her random blur mode now... XD but oh well... blurness has it's fun... ^^

gimme some wine and chocolate and i'll love you for the rest of my life!!! XDXDDD;;
*diez*

*wolfy dance*
*rolls round on the floor*
~~~~nya nya nya nya nya~~~~
brrrrr~~
*pff*
*wolfy vanish*
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
*pop*
TA-DAAA~!!!!!
*wolfy ish back!*
*wolfy jumps up and down the bed*
RAWR!!
wolfy bitez!
NYA!!

fat fat chocolate... but NICE!! 8DD

ima go get the vodca chocolate asap... this thursday when i go makan with ferria... heheheh
~~~~~CHOCOLATE!! HERE ME COME!!!!~~~
AI LURD JOO!!!!
NYA~!!
\^A^/
<3

ONE month

2008-12-01T01:31:00.003+08:00

one month... and my love for him is only increasing... usually it'll be declining by now... but this time... no... I'm gonna hold this relationship and make it till I'm there with him... :)

the word LOVE is only a four letter word without you... but now with you... i have found a new meaning of the word LOVE

Accuracy of Death~ Sweet Rain

2008-12-01T00:31:00.002+08:00

Accuracy of Death
seven days to the end of life... and the beginning of love...

wonderfully beautiful... ^^ <3

love~

2008-11-30T01:29:00.001+08:00

and ofcourse i will never forget... my dearest beloved Lukas... i thought he would forget my birthday (given that he kept wishing me happy birthday at the wrong day for the past 2weeks... XD)... im really happy that he did remember... im just glad that he's on here with me on my 1st birthday with him... im really hoping to have many more with him... ^^ i love you Lukas <3

im 19~

2008-11-29T22:58:00.012+08:00

well... i havent wrote bout my birthday... haha... that's cause i really had fun and was tired... ^^
morning... my maid made me breakfast (really rare that she even cared... XD) fried noodle and two red eggs...

on my birthday... i know i said i had a few friends over... but well... i think a girly day out with my childhood friend (Joyce) was better... ^^ we went into many shops to try out many difrent kinda outfits... "hey... lets pick a few outfits that we normally would never wear... just for the fun of it..." and we did... XD it was really great... haha...

all day shopping... and i bought ONE hoodie... i know i said we were at 1u... but we went to pyramid after that as well... went to Anatomi and bought this really really hot looking punk casual black leather jacket with hood and leopard print in the inside... really LOVE~!! XD

that was on the 27th...
and on the 28th... i went out shoping... again... but this time with my 2 cousins (xuen [age7] and wei [age5]...) and mum... was really fun too... ^^ (got myself another two hoodies... one works as a jacket... while the other one is just a long sleeve shirt with hood on it... absolutely gorgeous!! <3 ) and theres this "Bear At Heart Factory" in pyramid... you can make your own teddy bear the way you like it... i think ima go try that out... if it's not too expansive... seems like a fun thing to do... ^^

tomorrow... ima go get the hat in 1u...

cute ain't it...? ^w^
cant wait to get it... nya~!! <33 gonna go get the hat and a pair of sunnies... hmm... and see what else to get... hehe... sudenly i so love shopping... XD not that i usually dont... lol... it's just... more into shoping right now... haha... madness... 8D

turning 19... any advice...? 8D

2008-11-26T22:27:00.005+08:00

ok... she's startin to count down to her 19th birthday... XD
o yea... fenelon is turning 19 in a couple o hours... hell yea!!
last year... her 18th was at pyramid... still remember the photoshoot... epic fail!! XDXDDD;; well... at least SHE failed... the other guy was good...
aaron ong: hey chih... look... that guy has the same outfit as you...
ferria: yea! hey... why not ask him to be our model in the pre photoshoot...?
fenelon: uh... yea... he has the same one on as i do... cool!
ferria: chih... you go ask him to shoot with you...
fenelon: WHAA~???
aaron ong: its your birthday... and this is a dare for you...
hane: *just woke up* uh?
ferria: GO! before he goes...
fenelon: O_O;;
*fenelon walks up to the strainger*
fenelon: uh... hi... *strainger and his friend stares* uhm... do you think you can be our model for our photoshoot today...? *points at aaron ong* that's our photographer... aaron...
strainger: uh... ok...
*fenelon turns and walks back to ferria with a shocked blank face*
fenelon: uh... he said ok... are you sure we're doing this...?
ferria: yes!
fenelon: o... o_o"

so yea... that's basically how it happened... the strainger calls himself "K"... so yea... mysterious figure K... hmm... lol...
i wonder... what will happen tomorrow...? aaron n hane will not be there... but i did invited farret, tuna, dark, joyce, emad n stef... wanted to get that worm out of his hiding hole... but it seem he's really good at what he's doing... hiding... XD the salmon fish has exams... darn it... that dear old brother of ours... hane... is also having exams... grr... *wolfy bitez!* XD

what identity...??

2008-11-26T00:09:00.004+08:00

say... have you ever doubted a friend's identity...? i really need to know what people think but it...
lets say person X is a friend of mine... and... well... there's no easy way to say any of this... but im dying to get it outa my chest... it's really suffocating me... so yea...
*breaths*
ok...
X have been my close friend for quite some time... at 1st... everything was fine... then... when incident A happened... everything just went down hill... the following year... meaning this year... X had been keeping everything to herself a lot... never even wanna try to talk about it to me... still calls me her best friend... cancel every appointment (not that i blame her too much... that's HER incident B... not mine...)... i told her things that i want her to keep secret but she told anyway (eventhough so far i know its only one person... but its the person i spcifically said not to tell to... and this is MY incident C...)... she's always too busy for her best friend (aka... me...) but never too busy for her bf all the way in America... how sweet... and what's weird is... dont have the time or credit on fon to msg me bout anything BUT seem to have the time and credit on fon to msg me telling me NOT to tag picz of her onto her acc... i mean... WTF..???? what is wrong with her??
i know i know... i was talking bout identity at 1st then i crap bout this... sorry... im not going anywhere... but somethings are not to be told... (though i know i've told quite a few suposedly untold things... sorry) but anyway...
i have to admit... of all the things that X does... i have... a few times... this year... after incident A happened (but it's not related to incident A at all...)... sometimes things happened and i start doubting her identity... as in... her pictures... what she does before i knew her... and what she really does now... im not saying that i dont trust her... maybe i am a lil doubtful... but thats not it... >.< *sigh* (i know im confusing you... sorry... im confusing myself too actually...)
alright... long story short... i want my best friend back the way she was when i 1st knew her... i miss her... TT_TT she's my best friend AND my sister too... and i love my sister... i want her back... wherever she might be now... TT_TT

for YOU... from ME...

2008-11-25T00:15:00.005+08:00

I never once forgot you
I thought only of you

Then what about you?
Did you forget me?

Now my tears fall from my eyes, i feel betrayed

I thought of finding you
I, I dont really know
In my eyes, you're the only one in the world
I dont have anything to say
I cant go either
I dont have tears
I dont have feelings

Look at me infront of you
Me, who lives for you alone

The time came for us to meet
You are infront of me
Crying with nervousness, but

I dried your tears
Then I held your hand,
I'm going to rise
And give you, whose been with me, happiness

With my eyes, i long for you
In my heart, i've found you
I can see the light that brigntens me

I cant let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name, by your side

I will stay, i love you
Lets be together, with you, forever

I never once forgot you
I thought only of you

Then what about you?
Did you forget me?

Now my tears fall from my eyes, i feel betrayed

The time came for us to meet
You are infront of me
Crying with nervousness, but

I dried your tears
Then I held your hand,
I'm going to rise
And give you, whose been with me, happiness

With my eyes, i long for you
In my heart, i've found you
I can see the light that brigntens me

I cant let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name, by your side

I will stay, i love you
Lets be together, with you, forever

The happiness that the bluebirds give

Is always near to us

With my eyes, i long for you
In my heart, i've found you
I can see the light that brigntens me

I cant let got of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name, by your side
Open your heart whenever
And see that i am always infront of you

I will stay, i love you
Lets be together, with you, forever

mush~

2008-11-24T23:26:00.005+08:00

you know... i always doubt things... and i also know that in the end... i'll just tell myself "WTF... all those times i spent worrying and thinking and doubting... are for what?? bullshits... what is there really to worry at all...? nothing! but it seems i always just do... seems to me it's become my second nature to do so..."
it's quite annoting really... but what can i do...? as i said... it's become my second nature! which is rather shitty... dont you think so...?
but... i can assure you that i'm really trying to change that... it's because of Luke... without even knowing it himself... luke has thought me to be patient... and also let me realized that... all these while... i had been thinking and doubting and worrying too much... i really should stop... it's not healthy...
"Everytime i reached the peak... you came... twice you went MIA without me knowing anything... and twice you came back just in the nick of time... just when i reached the peak of worriness... oh how i do love you..." this is what i want to tell him... but... the usual me... i'm still to afraid too tell my feelings... to anyone... this is one reason why i hate myself so much sometimes...
eventhough i hate myself... luke always makes me feel good about myself... he always have a way to make me laugh when i didn't even want to smile... i know we've only been together for a short time... but this is what it is... i dont know how but it is... it just is...
when he's not around... i start thinking... all the ways that things could go wrong between us... i wouldn't dare say it aloud... but girls... you know what i mean... but when he comes... all those... junk... all those crap and bullshits... all gone... that was when i know for sure that he really do love me... and i always end up hating myself for doubting him... and i love him even more after im done hating myself... haha...
i know im rambling a lot here... la di la da... yada yada yada... yea... i know... but... one thing i know for sure... [thanks to joel... he made me realized this] i worry so much about luke... is not because i dont trust him... it's because i'm afraid to loose him... because i love him so much...
you know what...? i think i should stop right here... or i'll probably bore you to death or smother you to death with too much mush... haha...
well... i'll just say... bottom line... i love lukas no matter what happens... ^^

Feel Like A Girl ; Say It Again

2008-11-23T23:35:00.007+08:00

FEEL LIKE A GIRL

LIA

Do you remember what you said to me?

It's been ringing in my heart...

You should know that

what your words can do to me

It rumbles so high...

It tumbles so light...

You're beautiful

Oh, I have to say, you're beautiful

It's hard to deny it

You smile, and I can easily cry...

You know, you make me feel like a girl

Since I met you, I feel like a girl

It's amazing, so different way to be

And now, it's seems like I'm falling

Into love, into love...

You can answer to what I said to you

I give you the sweet part of my heart

So don't hurt me, if you feel the same way

We can make today high...

We can make it so bright...

You're an angel

When I met you, it was miracle

Impossible not to

feel it, we share the moment...

You know how much I feel like a girl

Because of you, I feel like a girl

It's like new window opening to me

So now, it seems like I'm falling

You know, you make me feel like a girl

Since I met you, I feel like a girl

It's amazing, so different way to be

And now, it's seems like I'm falling

Into love, into love...

==================================

SAY IT AGAIN

C21

I can't believe

that were sitting here

it's like a dream come true

after all these years

I've been looking for love

in every possible place

searching for an answer

in every strangers face

I didn't know what to do

or where to go

but you were here all the time

you stole my heart

you opened up my eyes

baby you changed my life

Say it again one more time

those three little words that changed my life

say it again, say "I love you"

say it today and tomorrow too

say it forever

say that you love me again

I have been foolish

so many times

I wasn't to carefull

with this heart of mine

I had a dream

of an honest heart

of a full commitment

right from the start

Someone up there

must have heard my prayers

and somehow send you my way

I give you my heart

I give you my soul

I give you my night and day

Say it again one more time

those three little words that changed my life

say it again, say "I love you"

say it today and tomorrow too

say it forever

say that you love me again

Say that you love me again

Say it again one more time

those three little words that changed my life

say it again, say "I love you"

say it today and tomorrow too

say it forever

say that you love me again

Say it forever

say that you love me again

odd sky

2008-11-23T23:21:00.004+08:00

at about 9:20pm... the lights went off in my house... that wasn't quite weird... it happens once in a while... but after about 10minutes... i looked out the window... its year end now... it should be dark by 7:30pm... but not today... aparently... it wasn't totally dark yet at that time... it was about 9:45pm... i could still see that the sky a little redish color... somewhat like 6:30am instead... usually it'd be all dark by then... totally dark... but i could see almost everything on the streets from where i was then [second floor, in my room]... i really find it quite strange that at that hour of the night... the sky was still not yet dark... isnt it weird...?? hmm...
but anyway... im not feeling quite well these days... been sick... and my asthma isn't helping at all... so yea... i'm thinking of going skating practice tomorow morning... but lets just put it this way... i'll be better off to decide when i wake up in the morning... haha...

to my dearest sweetheart,
do know that i am ALWAYS waiting for you...
i love you!
from your love.

^w^ <3

2008-11-22T00:51:00.005+08:00

well... Fenelon has been dragged here by a wonderful creature named Janice... how very sweet of you, my dear friend... XD
anyway... there are a few things i'd like to share before i start... recently... Fenelon has found herself a new sweetheart... ^^ met last year... and got a lil closer during october 2008... hook up on the 1st of nov 2008 at around 6am... YES!! you've read it right... 6AM... lol...

oh yea! she hasn't told you his name yet has she...? well... he's got a really nice name... [mind you... he was so proud of his name... XD] the name's Lukas Anderson Gilbert... age 18... German... well... more rojak... but... spare the details... lol
well now... we can start... i think... haha... but yea... Fenelon has no idea what to post on the blog today... lol... all she does today is skating class from 10am - 10:30am... practice till 11am+... piano class 2pm - 3pm... n slept all the way till about 7:45pm... woke up for dinner and... here she is... well... had an hour chat on the phone with that "wonderful creature" before coming here... lol... but other then that... nothing really interesting...